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„მოზარდებს სჭირდებათ გარკვეული ჩარჩო, მოლაპარაკება და შეზღუდვები" - თამარ გაგოშიძის რჩევები გარდატეხის ასაკში მყოფი მოზარდების მშობლებს | ჯანმრთელობა | vidal.ge
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„მოზარდებს სჭირდებათ გარკვეული ჩარჩო, მოლაპარაკება და შეზღუდვები" - თამარ გაგოშიძის რჩევები გარდატეხის ასაკში მყოფი მოზარდების მშობლებს

თარიღი: 11 თებერვალი, 2020

რა შეცდომებს უშვებენ მშობლები მოზარდთან ურთიერთობისას და რა რეკომენდაციებს სთავაზობს ნეიროფსიქოლოგი თამარ გაგოშიძე მათ. 

თამარ გაგოშიძე, ნეიროფსიქოლოგი:

„გარდატეხის ასაკი ის ხანაა, როდესაც მოზარდს უჭირს ურთიერთობა არა მხოლოდ გარესამყაროსთან, არამედ საკუთარ თავთანაც. ასეთ დროს მშობლებისთვის ყველაზე რთული მოზარდთან მისასვლელი გზის პოვნაა, რადგან ის არ არის პატარა, მაგრამ ჯერ არც მოზრდილია. ყველაზე ხშირად მშობლების მიერ დაშვებული შეცდომა არის მოქცევა მოზარდთან ისე, როგორც ბავშვთან. შეცდომაა ისიც, რომ ამ დროს მშობელი მოზარდს საშუალებას არ აძლევს, თვითონ აიღოს პასუხისმგებლობა თავის მოქმედებებზე და ცდილობს მის მაგიერ გააკეთოს ყველაფერი. მესამე ყველაზე გავრცელებული შეცდომა სუფთა ემოციური ხასიათისაა: ჩვენ უბრალოდ გვეშინია მოზარდის რეაქციის. ამიტომ ერთის მხრივ ვცდილობთ ყველაფერი შევუსრულოთ, ხოლო მეორეს მხრივ ყველაფერი ავუკრძალოთ და არაფრის უფლება არ მივცეთ.

ყველაზე მნიშვნელოვანი მოზარდისათვის არის კომუნიკაცია. მშობელმა უნდა ისწავლოს საკუთარ შვილთან ურთიერთობა, უნდა ისწავლოს მისი მოსმენა და მოთხოვნის რეჟიმიდან გადავიდეს ემოციების გაზიარებაზე, უნდა მისცეს დამოუკიდებლად მოქმედების და პასუხისმგებლობის აღების საშუალება.

ძალიან ბევრი მშობელი ამბობს, რომ შვილს ყველაფერს თვითონ უკეთებს  და მუდამ თან დასდევს, მაგრამ თუ ჩვენ გავაკეთებთ ყველაფერს ჩვენი შვილების მაგიერ, ისინი ვეღარაფერს გააკეთებენ თავისით. ზედმეტი კონტროლის მეორე უკიდურესობაა ყველაფრის უფლების მიცემა. მოზარდის მხრიდან პროტესტის გამოცხადების ან დეპრესიაში ჩავარდნის თავიდან ასაცილებლად ზოგიერთი მშობელი მას სრულ თავისუფლებას აძლევს. მაგრამ რაც არ უნდა უცნაურად მოგეჩვენოთ, ეს არ უწყობს ხელს არც პიროვნების განვითარებას და არ აძლევს მოზარდს არც თავისუფალ არჩევანს. როგორც აღვნიშნე, მიუხედავად იმისა, რომ ამ ასაკში ადამიანი აღარ არის ბავშვი, იგი არც მოზრდილია. ამიტომ მოზარდებსაც სჭირდებათ გარკვეული ჩარჩო, მოლაპარაკება და შეზღუდვები. თუმცა ამ ყველაფერში თვითონაც უნდა იყონ ჩართული და ჰქონდეთ არჩევანის საშუალება, რომ თვითონ მიხვდნენ რა გააკეთონ და რა არა.“