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თარიღი: 03 ნოემბერი, 2020

მშობლები ძალიან ხშირად გვეკითხებიან - როგორ დავსაჯოთ ბავშვი?
ამ კითხვას ჩვენც კითხვით ვპასუხობთ, დაფიქრდით, რატომ სჯით ბავშვს? ბავშვის ქცევა არ მოგწონთ, გაღიზიანებთ, ხელს გიშლით? სამსახურიდან დაღლილი მოდიხართ და ბავშის ხმაური მოთმინებას გაკარგვინებთ? ან იქნებ მიზეზი ისაა, რომ ბავშვი თავისი ქცევით საფრთხეს უქმნის საკუთარ თავს ან სხვებს, აფუჭებს ნივთებს, არ გემორჩილებათ და გიჭირთ აჭამოთ, სადმე წაიყვანოთ ან ამეცადინოთ?

რა არის დასჯა?
დასჯის/სასჯელის მთავარი მიზანი არის ბავშვის რთული ქცევის კონტროლი, კერძოდ, არასასურველი ქცევის შემცირება ან საერთოდ გაქრობა. სწორად შერჩეული სასჯელი ბავშვს ეუბნება, რა არ უნდა გააკეთოს.
მოდით, ახლა იმაზეც დავფიქრდეთ, სასჯელი ეუბნება ბავშვს იმას, როგორ მოიქცეს? გაიხსენეთ, ბოლოს როგორ დასაჯეთ თქვენი შვილი, დარწმუნებული ვარ ამ სასჯელით მას უთხარით, როგორ არ გინდათ რომ მოიქცეს, მაგრამ შესთავაზეთ ამის ნაცვლად ქცევის სასურველი ფორმა?

დასჯა ეხმარება ბავშვს გაიგოს რომელია ცუდი ქცევა. თუმცა, სასჯელი, იმის ახსნის გარეშე, რა იქნებოდა სწორი, ქცევის რომელი ფორმა იქნებოდა მისაღები, შედეგს არ მოგცემთ. მხოლოდ დასჯით, არასასურველი ქცევა არ გაქრება. ასე შესაძლოა იგი დროებით არ განახორციელოს ბავშვმა, ან განახორციელოს სხვა, ისევ არასწორი ფორმით.

როგორი უნდა იყოს სასჯელი?
დასჯის მთავარი მიზანია, აღარ განმეორდეს არასასურველი ქცევა. ამისთვის არსებობს ორი გზა. პირველი: ესაა ბავშვისთვის არასასიამოვნო, უარყოფითი სტიმულის მიცემა, მეორე კი -სასიამოვნო სტიმულის წართმევა.

შესაბამისად, არსებობს დასჯის ორი სახე:
1. დადებითი (პოზიტიური)- ამ დროს უნდა მოხდეს არასასიამოვნო სტიმულის მიცემა ბავშისთვის. ბავშვმა არ იმეცადინა და ცუდი ნიშანი (არასასიამოვნო სტიმული) მიიღო.
2. უარყოფითი (ნეგატიური)- ამ დროს უნდა მოხდეს სასიამოვნო სტიმულის, წართმევა, რათა შემცირდეს ამ ქცევის გამეორების ალბათობა. მაგ. ძმას წაართვა შოკოლადი, რის გამოც დღეს ვერ შეჭამს ტკბილეულს.

სხვა ყველაფერი ბავშვზე ძალადობაა და არა დასჯა და მნიშვნელოვანია ეს ერთმანეთისგან განვასხვავოთ.

სანამ ბავშვს დასჯით, დააკვირდით, რისთვის სჭირდება მას არასასურველი ქცევა? რას იღებს, ან რას გაურბის ამით? ამის გარკვევა დაგეხმარებათ სასჯელის სწორად შერჩევაში. ასე თქვენ უკვე გეცოდინებათ, რომელი სტიმული უნდა მისცეთ ბავშვს და რომელი უნდა ჩამოართვათ.

თუ თვლით, რომ სასჯელი აუცილებელია , უნდა დაიცვათ შემდეგი წესები:
წესი 1. სასჯელი არ უნდა აზიანებდეს ბავშვს ფიზიკურად თუ ემოციურად. თუ ბავშვს შეურაცხყოფას აყენებთ, ამცირებთ, ან ფიზიკურად ეხებით, ოთახში მარტო კეტავთ, დატოვებით, ან სახლიდან გაგდებით ემუქრებით - ეს ძალადობაა და არა დასჯა.

წესი 2. სასჯელი მაშინვე უნდა მოსდევდეს დანაშაულს - დაგვიანებით ბავშვის დასჯა შედეგს არ მოგცემთ, რადგან ხშირად ბავშვს აღარც ახსოვს რა გააფუჭა და ვერ ხვდება რისთვის სჯიან.
სწორი ფორმაა: ცუდად მოვიქეცი - დავისაჯე. ამ დროს ზუსტად ვიცი, რისთვის დამსაჯეს.
დაუშვებელია: ცუდად მოვიქეცი, გავაგრძელე თამაში, ვჭამე, ტელევიზორს ვუყურე - დავისაჯე. ამ შემთხვევაში გაუგებარია რისთვის ვისჯები? ტელევიზორის ყურებისთვის? ჭამისთვის? თამაშისთვის? რა გავაკეთე ცუდად?

წესი 3. სასჯელი უნდა იყოს დანაშაულის შესაბამისი. სასჯელი არც უნდა აჭარბებდეს და არც ძალიან მსუბუქი უნდა იყოს არასწორ ქცევასთან მიმართებაში.

წესი 4. ბავშვიუნდა დაისაჯოს კონკრეტული ქცევისთვის. სასჯელს უნდა მოყვეს განმარტება რომელი ქცევისთვის და რატომ ისჯება ბავშვი.

წესი 5. შეაფასეთ ქცევა და არა ბავშვი.
დაუშვებელია თქმა: ცუდი ხარ, ასე თუ გააგრძელებ არ მეყვარები, ასეთი ბავშვი არავის სჭრდება.
სწორი ფორმაა: ცუდად მოიქეცი. ძალიან მეწყინა ასე რომ მოიქეცი. გული მეტკინება ამას თუ კიდევ გააკეთებ. ეს ქცევა ძალიან ცუდია.

წესი 6. ბავშვმა უნდა იცოდეს რომელი ქცევისთვის, როგორ დაისჯება. თუ ხედავთ, რომ თქვენი შვილი არ მეცადინეობს და დროს თამაშში აცდენს, თქვენ ამბობთ: თუ არ იმეცადინებ, საღამოს ვერ უყურებ შენს საყვარელ მულტფილმს.

წესი 7. აუცილებლად უნდა შეასრულოთ მიცემული პირობა. თუ ბავშვმა არ იმეცადინა, რაც უნდა მოხდეს, როგორც უნდა შეგეცოდოთ, როგორც უნდა გთხოვოთ, გეჩხუბოთ, რაც უნდა გითხრათ - უფლება არ მისცეთ რომ უყუროს მულტფილმს და შეახსენეთ თქვენი გაფრთხილება. არასოდეს უთხრათ ბავშვს ის, რასაც ვერ გააკეთებთ. თუ იცით, რომ ვერ დასჯით, არ შეპირდეთ სასჯელს. ეს თქვენ ავტორიტეტს დაადაბლებს მის თვალში და ძალიან გაგიჭირდებათ მისი ქცევის მართვა.

წესი 8. ბავშვის დასჯის დროს იყავით თანმიმდევრული. დღეს თუ დასაჯეთ ბავშვი, იმისთვის რომ არ იმეცადინა, ხვალ კი იმავე ქცევისთვის არ დასაჯეთ, ვერ მიხვდება, ეს ქცევა შეწყვიტოს თუ არა.

წესი 9. სასჯელის შერჩევისას იყავით ფრთხილად. თუ სასჯელად გამოიყენებთ სწავლას ან მუშაობას, ბავშვს მათ მიმართ ნეგატიური დამოკიდებულება ჩამოუყალიბდება.

წესი 10. ბავშვი დასაჯეთ მხოლოდ აუცილებლობის შემთხვევაში. სანამ ბავშვს დასჯით, კარგად დაფიქრდით, ნამდვილად არ არსებობს სხვა გზა? ნამდვილად არ გაამართლა სხვა არც ერთმა საშუალებამ? ბავშვი დასაჯეთ მხოლოდ იმ შემთხვევაში, როცა ყველა სხვა შესაძლებლობა შედეგს არ მოგცემთ.
დაბოლოს, აუცილებლად უნდა იცოდეთ, რომ ზოგჯერ ბავშვის დასჯა გარდაუვალია, მაგრამ ეს არ არის ქცევის მართვის ერთადერთი საშუალება. უფრო მეტიც, წახალისების გარეშე მხოლოდ სასჯელი შედეგს არ მოგცემთ.